Evaluating My Communication Skills

          As I evaluated my communication skills and then had two other people evaluate me and my communication skills this week, I learned so much.  One particular thing that surprised me was that all three scores from all three sources, myself, my mom, and my husband, all turned out to pretty close to the same.  This surprised me because I did not think it would be that close. These were the test results.  I am a people-oriented communicator that communicates well and shows respect for others, but at times I tend to trust people more than I should and I am almost too sensitive to others' needs.
          One insight that I gained this week was that evaluating your communication skills is a necessity.  If you evaluate your communication skills periodically, and work to enhance them, the relationships that you have in your life will flourish.  Another insight that I gained from during this week was that nonverbal communication explains a lot about who you are.  Nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication.  The "look" you give someone, sometimes says more than the words that come out of your mouth.   Understanding these two insight will help me grow as a professional and a person in that I will better understand why I do things, why I act certain ways, why I approach a situation the way that I did.  I will become more intact with who I am.  

Communication Strategies

          Many times, before I even realize it, I communicate differently with a person that is different than myself simply because of the difference.  Does that make sense?  I do not mean any harm by this, for most people they do not, but nonetheless, it causes feelings of hurt for the other person.  When I encounter a person that is different, e.g. different religion, different sexual orientation, different beliefs, different culture, sometimes I freeze up and do not know how to talk to them.  I do not know how to relate to them.  Therefore, I have nothing to talk to them about, or so I think.  Other times when I encounter a person that is different than myself, I may accidentally do or say something that offends that person without even meaning to.  This offense then causes a barrier to form between me and that person.  It is my job to learn how to handle differences for myself so that I do not offend others just because we are different. 
           A strategy that I could use would be to try to withhold judgement long enough to gain a deeper understanding than first impressions allow.  Instead of lettting the first impression rule our thinking about a person, we should really get to know the person or family before forming an opinion about them.  Another strategy that I would use would be when something about a families' practice really bothers me, I will try to look at what they are doing through their eyes instead of my own.  Trying to understand why they do what they do, by putting myself in their shoes would allow me to forget about my thoughts for a minute so I can think about others.  A third strategy that I could use would be to recognize that learning unwritten cultural rules of nonverbal communication takes time and patience(Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).  These three strategies could help me to communicate more effectively with the groups of people that I talked about previously. 

References

 

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Observing Communication

          For this week's assignment, I watched an episode of the Bernie Mac Show.  While watching it the first time without sound, I saw that the show was about a family.  The relationships that I observed was a Father-Son, Father-Daughter, Husband-Wife, Mother-Son, Mother-Daughter, then Sibling-Sibling relationships.  I was able to understand that the father cared for his son because of his gestures and his expressions.  He would hug him, and pat him on the back, and simply show interest in him.  This particular episode was about the father and the son.  The son was having trouble with kids around him, they would pick on him and beat him up, because he is small.  The father tries to teach him how to stand up for himself.  Some of the nonverbal communication that I was able to observe was frightened, disappointment, anger, proudness. I was able to see these kinds of nonverbal communication because of their facial expressions, their body language, and the interaction between the people in the show.
          When I watched the show with sound, I found out that the husband and wife was not the parents to the three children in the show.  They were their uncle and aunt.  The children were the husband's sister's kids.  However, the relationships that was between the adults and the children resembled a parent/child relationship.  A situation in the show that I misinterpreted when I watched the show without sound was when the husband and wife were talking and the oldest girl was in the room setting the table and was listening to them talk.  The first time I watched it, I thought they were having an argument, and all the while trying to not let them the girl hear it.  However, when I watched it the second time, I realized that they were not argueing they were discussing what to do about the boy, and they were trying to not let the girl hear them.  Through this assignment, I learned so much about communication, nonverbal communication especially.  A person displays so much about what they are trying to convey to someone else.  Nonverbal communication is just as vital as verbal communication. 

References

 

Wilmore, L. (Creator). (2001). The Bernie Mac show [Television series]. Los Angeles, CA: Fox Broadcasting Company.

Communication

          A person that I think is a great communicator is my dad.  He is a pastor and a preacher of a church and has been in the ministry for my whole life.  Some behaviors that he exhibits that makes him such a good communicator is that he understands people and can connect with people.  When he is preaching, he does not talk above everyone else, he talks so that they can all understand.  He uses examples that people can relate to.  He shows people that he cares because he expresses it, he says it.  When he is trying to emphasize a point, he uses pauses effectively.  He is able to make his points clear and concise, he keeps his mind clear so that he can bring his points out that way too.  He is able to use facial expressions and hand gestures effectively as well so to emphasize his points.  He influences the people he is around, influencing people is one of the most important aspects of communication (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2009). 
          I would want to model all of these communication patterns after him in my own communication.  I would love to be able to communicate as well as he does.  Many times I find myself making things more confusing that things really are when trying to get a message across.  I also do not connect with people as well as my dad.  I have trouble connecting with people.  Communicating as well as my dad would be something I would love to be able to do.  

 

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.   

            Martin's.